Selfish Needs  To Care
by ozxiii
Summary: There was a reason why Train didn't kill Creed after he had been so annoying, after he had killed Saya, after he had been caught. It wasn't because of the "Sweeper's Code." Train didn't kill him because he had his own selfish reasons. oneshot. please r&r


**A/N: My first Black Cat Fanfiction. I've loved this series for five years now, but I never considered fanfiction for this manga/anime until now. **

**Just a quick oneshot about Train and why he didn't kill Creed. It wasn't because Sweepers don't kill their targets, or because he thinks that Creed deserves a second chance at life. It's because... well, read on.**

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><p>Selfish Needs - To care.<p>

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><p><em>"Amazing... Amazing!" cried the silver haired man, a look of pure wonder was on his face. It was the look of an obsessed madman.<em>

_"Train, my Black Cat. You really are the best, my Train!" he cried. However, his praises seemed to have the opposite effect as the man in question turned abruptly on his heels to face the silver-haired-maniac._

_"Screw off."_

_Train was a man of little words._

_He began to walk away, but the silver head, Creed only smiled. He was beaming at Train like a little boy who had just received the most amazing toy ever on Christmas morning... In retrospect, watching Train murder a target like he does, would probably be the equivalent of "the most amazing toy ever" to Creed, regardless of what time of day, on whatever day._

_Train stopped walking and turned to face Creed once more._

_"I thought I told you to screw off," he growled. But Creed only shivered with pleasure. Ignoring the gesture which he found somewhat disturbing, Train went on his way, calming his anger, telling himself that killing Creed would do him no good._

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><p>That had been years ago. Train found himself staring and blinking up at the bare ceiling of the latest motel he was staying at, just woken up. He blinked once more and shook his head.<p>

Now, why was he dreaming about the past?

And a stupid, insignificant memory, no less.

Train sighed as he got out of bed. The memories of his time back in Chronos resurfacing. He dragged himself to the bathroom where he began to wash his face and brush his teeth, his mind wandering and thinking of his memories of Creed.

Most of the memories were of times that Creed was praising him, or of times that Creed angered him (which was quite frequent, often when he was praising him), or of when he had killed Saya (this memory angered him the most). Each memory brought up a small bit of rage that Train had tried to bury away or hide, but it was all resurfacing... Years later when they were no longer partners, when Saya was dead, when... They had just caught Creed yesterday.

Maybe that's why his thoughts were drifting towards that man on this particular day. Because he was gone and finally out of his life for good.

A twinge of sadness. No, loneliness.

Train was shocked by that. First, the weird dream of an old memory, then all the weird thoughts of the madman, now his feelings too?

But Train wasn't going to deny it. He did feel a little lonely now that Creed was officially gone for good... Because... Because...

It was the same reason why Train didn't kill him back then. When Train hadn't met Saya yet and didn't believe in not killing, or when Creed had killed Saya and he did believe in not killing.

Now the next thing, Train would never admit.

He didn't kill Creed because... Because...

He needed to know -

It was a strange and unnerving feeling because Train couldn't believe he needed Creed like this. Creed was crazy, a psychopath, and completely obsessed with Train.

It was a scary thing to realize that you needed a madman like Creed.

In the same way that Creed felt that only Train understood him, Train felt the same way. He felt as if... He was completely alone in the world... And Creed, even if he might never understand him like he claimed, at least he cared, and Train could be sure of that... And that's all Train needed. Just one person, that he could completely and utterly sure of, that gave a shit for what happened to him and what he did.

That was why he put up with the madman's ramblings and praises.

Not because Chronos would be after him for killing his partner.

That was why he didn't kill the psychopath.

Not because of the "Sweeper's Code" or because of Saya.

No, Train wasn't nearly as altruistic as some people thought he was. Train was selfish, keeping a lunatic like Creed alive... Letting him loose and killing all those innocent people.

And all of that, just so he knew that there was one person in the world who cared.

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><p><strong><strong>AN:** I always thought that behind that happy-go-lucky exterior, that Train might be suffering, just a little, on the inside.**

**He lost his parents at a young age, grew up killing and seeing people die, and then, the first person to come along, who could somewhat relate to him, was Creed. Train might not openly show it, but I thought that he must rely on Creed, even a little, for some support. I'm sure that Creed's feelings weren't completely one-sided, and that Train did need Creed a little. (Even after Train met Saya and Sven. Because there's just something special about the FIRST person that comes along).**

**Maybe that's just me reading a little bit to far between the lines. But that was why I wrote this. Anyway, I hoped you enjoyed it. :)**

** Please Review! (it'd be much appreciated)**


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